On Trying

I (used to) love writing. Like, REALLY looooooooove writing! With the same love that Tiktoker expressed when he said, ‘Gluten is Croissant’. If you know, you know because I am too lazy to find and tag the video. At this point, you’re probably thinking one of two things; either you have been down the TikTok rabbit hole and have since purposed to never go back, or you don’t understand what the TikTok hype is about, so you never bother. Regardless of which side you are on, Nike away into the TikToks so that you can chime in the next time the TikTok rabbit hole discussion comes up at a party. Yup, best believe that one is going to be a discussion point for a while. 

Don’t you just hate referencing as a joke format? You either have to explain the joke or live with the big possibility that NO ONE got the joke. If I am being honest, both give me the same amount of disgust, and that’s how this simulation was designed. If you disagree, I envy you!

What was I saying? I love(d) writing. To the point where I paid money (I know, the ‘other’ me is side-eyeing the ‘one who makes these transactions’ me) to have my own lil name on a website so that I can write my things and put them on a thing that I chose. 

Last year, despite all the planning that I supposedly did ahead of my trip to Washington, D.C., I received a notification to renew my blog hosting warevs when I was probably chilling at The Wharf in D.C. I say probably because there is a 95% chance that’s where I was because I wharfed A LOT! And guess what? I hadn’t made my payment so naturally, I asked a friend to help me make the payment. Personally, I would rather chew a jean jacket and its corresponding jean than deal with the costs of sending money to Uganda. Of course, it helps that I have people at home who are willing and able to carry me. 

You would think that I would have learnt my lesson after the last time, and you would be wrong. I had the pleasure of traveling back to Uganda (arguably the BEST three weeks of my life) this year to renew my visa, and what did I do? I enjoyed the dope vibes, picked up my passport, and I was off on my merry way. 

Imagine how foolish I felt when I received a notification to renew my blog hosting warevs a few weeks ago. Yup,  I COMPLETELY forgot to renew my blog hosting warevs. Considering that I have not published anything on my blog in a hot minute (now, here’s the understatement of the century!), you would think it would be super easy for me to let it go. You would be wrong. DAMN! You are on a roll with this being wrong thing. I have heard nightmare stories about people who let go of their websites (blogs) by not renewing, and then they later wanted them, and the opening bid was like $10,000. Ten. Thousand. Deez. 

DAMN! I am rumbling. Anyway, long story not so short, I wanted to keep my blog. I asked a friend, and they were more than happy to pay for it. [Narrator: Imagine you are the friend who was near arm twisted to make the payment, plus Mobile Money withdrawal charges, and you are finding out that you were MORE than happy to, then breathe in and out.]

What was I saying? LOL! There’s A LOT of that going on in here. 

This could have been a journal entry aside from how few those lines are, but I wanted to try this again. 

When I kept making sure that my blog was available for me (even though I wasn’t writing), I was trying.

When I publish this, even though I don’t think this is my best work, I am trying. 

If I ever decide not to pay for this blog to be available, I would have tried and decided that I am done trying. 

If you made it through this mambo jambo and you are trying at something, this is your very kind reminder that trying has many faces. Sometimes it’s playing the long game, and other times, it’s ejecting as soon as you need to because you tried until you couldn’t anymore. 

I hope your November is off to a good start. And if it isn’t, I know you are trying, and I hope you can recognize what that looks like for you so that you can be kinder to yourself. 

Maybe I will see you before the next cycle of renewing my blog hosting warevs. 

Photo by William Daigneault on Unsplash