#UgBlogWeek Day 3: Honest Relationships
You know how a bride to be can turn into a monster, a bridezilla? Well I become a monster around my birthday. My birthday is coming up in a few days, and over the past few weeks, I may or may not have issued threats to my friends.
‘If I don’t get more than 3 cakes…’
‘If you don’t give me a present…’
If. If. If.
To be honest, these are the ‘threats’ that make me ‘look good’. I never end these sentences but a part of me, probably influenced my last born self, feels entitled to these and more.
Earlier this year, I made a choice. A choice to understand that the world does not revolve around me. Being a last born, this is harder than a vampire making the choice to live without human blood (Hey Stefan). A choice to not be selfish, while being selfish. A choice to understand that people’s choices rarely have anything to do with me.
I think that is the conundrum (Yup, I just covered my big word of the week) of relationships. To care, without making it about us. Because who doesn’t want some attention? Who doesn’t want the sun to rise and set on them? Like I said, a conundrum.
I want to choose a specific illustration of how deceitful relationships are today, and I could pull a full book from my own life, but that is neither here nor there. Whether it is the parents that are incapable of showing emotions, or those that believe that beating their children repeatedly will make them disciplined, or men that believe that beating their women means that they love them, or men that feel the need to lie about how they feel, their financial standing or… The list of examples is really long.
When it is all said and done, is a relationship worth having if it is highly censored/manipulated?
Human beings are creatures of habit. If you are deceitful about one relationship long enough, you can be deceitful about every relationship. At the end of the day, you are not only playing yourself in that one relationship but also in other aspects of your life.
I envision a life where we are honest in our relationships. Be it at work, friendships, with ourselves, romantic relationships, you name it. A reality where we don’t have a default answer to the ‘how are you?’ question.
What do you think?
P.S: An honest answer would be nice, and very helpful.
Does this honesty enbrace brokenness, and fractured egos, does it see hope in passive aggressive fits from one’s significant other (is that what this is about?) Or is it considered honesty when one surrenders to the impulse to give up on something because they feel they can’t carry on?… Is honesty realness to one’s self(in that particular moment)… I am mostly confused but this piece allows me to introspect ka little… Thanks.
I think honesty is realness to one’s self. Whatever that looks like. It is your truth, so it should benefit you. In case it wasn’t clear, I am also confused 🙂