#UgBlogWeek Day 6 – Pain

It’s been long day – the pain in your shoulders is proof of that. It’s almost like your body registers the pain long before your mind does. Otherwise your mind would have made you slow down.

But it’s too late now. Not too late in a “you have been diagnosed with terminal cancer” kind of way though. No in a “you need to be careful before it’s too late” kind of too late way. It makes no sense really.

Pain is pain, whether it is from an insect bite or from a tooth ache that seems like it was tailor made to show you how painful pain can be. To show you how far you can be pushed before you actually fall off the rails.

Every time you think about her, you can feel a migraine coming on. You had always wondered when a headache becomes a migraine until you met her. Well you do like having all the answers so I guess that was life’s way of laughing at you in the face.

You tried caring about her, loving her, wanting what’s best for her but it didn’t work. You flipped the coin to not caring about her and ignoring her existence altogether but that didn’t work as well.

Whether you loved her, hated her or were indifferent towards her the reaction was the same – it brought you pain. Different types of pain but pain none the less.

At the end of the day, it’s about survival for the fittest. You did everything you could for her but it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.

Now you are simply content with numbing the pain so you can’t help but smile as the bar tender pours your first of many drinks for the evening.

You loved Uganda and all she did was bring you heart ache. Pain – the kind of pain that leaves you thinking twice about whether you’d do it again if you got the chance.

She will be the death of you. You’re simply not sure whether she’ll be worth it.