When I told Lux about the parent’s comment from yesterday’s post, she felt that we should go this route and explore the parenting in the UK.
Lux’s parents are super liberal so the relationship she and her siblings have with their parents is as disrespectful as one you would have with a day one niqqa/ ride or die or something along those lines. It is a burden of sorts because her parents do not see her as their child but rather a close friend, confidant which makes the expected parent-child boundary invisible. This is especially terrible in cases where her parents have an argument and both confide in her so she has to choose sides yet she should not be in such a position.
As if that is not enough, Lux’s mother sometimes feels the need to fill her in on the details of her parent’s sexual interaction so that she (mother) can better understand her emotions. This is a share too far.
A few scenarios that happened with her parents that definitely shocked me but only prove how different parenting in the UK is from that in Africa;
1. When she was 11 years old, Lux’s parents allowed her 14 year old brother to grow weed on the window in her room; and yes weed was illegal. Funny story though, the weed was stolen although how that happened is a mystery since it was being grown on the fourth floor where her room was.
2. At 18 years Lux left for university and she barely saw her parents although the place was about 2 hours away, the equivalent of Kampala to Lugazi. She assures me that this was never a problem and to date, she communicates with her parents once or twice in 2-3 months. If I was on a different continent, I am sure that my parents would be calling me as though their lives depended on it.
3. There was an incident between Lax’s 25 year old sister and father; it was Christmas and their father refused to wrap their brother’s Sock gifts saying, and I quote ‘Santa is a cunt’. Her sister was furious and had a huge fight with her father because he was being a terrible parent to their brother. That her sister not only thought that she had an opinion on how their father should raise their brother but went ahead to share it still has me SMH.
4. Lux’s father is an embarrassing extrovert who will always be the one the dressed in ridiculous clothing and dancing outrageous dance strokes. I had to confirm with her whether she had meant to say brother.
She got in touch with her sister to get more examples to show how different parenting in the UK is from that here *Yes, she is very excited about this* and these were the most appalling;
1. Lux’s sister was a baby sitter to a 12 year old girl. One evening the mother came into the living room where they were hanging out and gave her 12 year old daughter a lot of material (books, magazines, CDs you mention it) on sex saying and I quote ‘You’ll know when you’re ready’.
2. There was a 13 year old girl who was in a relationship with a 30 year old man, her parents knew about this relationship and were okay with it as long as she was happy.
I could NEVER in a million years imagine any of this happening!
Disclaimer: This does not apply to all families in the UK!