Benefits of the friendzone
I never assume that everyone is up to date with social media lingo so for the cave man or woman lest the feminists attack, a definition is in order.
The friendzone refers to a situation where someone writes off the possibility of ever having sex with you. Yes people, the friendzone is a mind thing about a physical thing.
When I eventually get my psychology degree, I shall delve into this further *Writes reminder in note book that I hope I will look at a time t+n where n is not in the near future*
Virtual society has made this a taboo of sorts and I only speak for myself when I say, I disagree *Surveys are lots of work and even then one can never trust people to actually say how they feel because of what society expects of them, what they think society expects of them, et al and I will not speculate because people have been killed for less*
Word on the grapevine is that girls/ ladies/ women invented the friendzone and this probably came from a school of thought that men always ask women for sex although if a woman suggested/ hinted at/ brought up the sex conversation and was turned down, she has then been friendzoned. This is what woman emancipation allows women, No? The friendzone will soon replace Voldermort as the the one who (which) shall not be named if this continues and I can NOT understand where/ when/ how the miscommunication happened. I love the friendzone and if I can help at least one person fully maximize and enjoy its benefits, I will go to bed a happier girl. So here goes;
1. The more the merrier: Are you an only child? Were there times your siblings were not around to play kwepena or matatu with you? The friendzone gives you brothers/ sisters and behold if Musa is busy, Faisal should be able to make time. Being a last born, this means a lot to me and without the friendzone I wouldn’t have this opportunity.
2. Dress down opportunities: Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I hate dressing up with a fire similar to the one Smaug breathed in that Epic end scene. Without the friendzone, I would be stuck in a reality where I have to be girly and dressy and skirty (Yaaaaaay!! New word) and that might coerce me into trying out one of those Hannibal or Dexter episodes in order to remain sane. Now I can live happily in my bikunta like a Bawssss
3. Longer friendships: The assumption here is that those that are having sex are in a good loving friendly relationship. When guy Q smiles at girl M from the corner of the room and walks straight towards her to say ‘I walked over as fast as I could and I kept staring at you because I was scared that even a glance away might mean I never got to look at you again’ and she smiled and they lived happily ever after. The End. Sadly, Q and M are the exception to the rule which is where break ups fit into this picture. Without the friendzone, it’s a cycle of making friends only to lose them because relationships with sex did not end well.
I am sure there are many more benefits of being friendzoned however these are the ones I am positive might convince a poor fellow outta there living in misery because they have NO idea what the friendzone brings to the table.
P.S: Tell a friend to tell a friend to tell an enemy to friendzone me.