23 Lessons in 23 years: Lesson 2- There is such a thing as Hierarchy in life.
During my O level studies (a very long time ago I tell you), History was without a doubt my worst subject and that’s putting it lightly. There were so many notes to read and the teachers always insisted on topical tests so on average a book per topic, let’s just say there was no way I was going to be a part of such madness.
I think it was during an East African History class where we were studying kingdoms that I first saw the word hierarchy under the centralized rule of the kingdoms or something along those lines.
Being a girl and attending a single school at one point, the concept of best friends or bincus as we called them was one I was accustomed to. Looking back, I now realize it was mandatory to have one or society deemed you unworthy. This was the person whom you’d take to sit with during visitation day, would wear matching clothes for a photo shoot that one weekend and proof that those who didn’t have bincus were left out is that there would be bincu hangout sessions where 2 bincus hang out with another pair of bincus. As I grew older, the circle widen to a group of best friends but the basic principle is said people would be there for each other, look after each other, have fun together, you get my drift.
Through life, there is always that one person that will make you change your mind about something because they would do the same for you. The effort a person will put in to get in touch with you even after you have bailed out last minute numerous times with a shady explanation or even worse none at all. The hierarchy herein is that you are way up the ladder in this person’s life that they will tolerate your nonsense time and time again while you on the other hand, clearly do not grade them highly on your ladder. As sad as this is, this is the reality of many relationships thus giving birth to the millions of dysfunctional relationships that we see everyday around us.
As retarded as it is, many of these dysfunctional relationships survive longer than normal relationships and are even more beneficial.
When I first actively realized the work of hierarchy in my life (personally and with those around me), I know how Archimedes felt when he screamed ‘Eureka’ because believe me I could see the light bulb, the light at the end of the tunnel, can you feel my excitement? I do not claim to have figured out the entire human race; however understanding that how people treat you most times says how they really feel about you has made making certain decisions easier. In the same light, knowing this has made it possible for me show people in my life (this only applies to those that I like) how up the ladder they are.
However, like every theory there is always an exception to the rule so I keep that at the back of my mind. I think it’s the back yard somewhere (because everyone knows the mind is like a house)!