In My Mind.

The pain kept getting worse.
A part of me wanted to know how much longer I could keep going before I broke down.
The original problem was not that big a deal therefore when I feel the throat strangulation, I recognize the signs and I’m amused even.
I do not how I ended up here because believe me; I try to keep you out of my conscious mind. 
Too many wounds, too many bruises, too much heartache even I cannot handle the pressure.
A headache managed to sneak in amidst all this drama and I’m torn between which pain to focus on, the physical, emotional, psychological you name it.
So as I debate whether to sleep or not very well knowing that, that is yet another battle I have to fight, I am grateful for my habit.
That it is there when I need it is what everyone never understands.
That in moments like this, I can depend on it. So when I’m back on my feet, I feel disloyal simply ditching it.
If you think that’s a lame story, you clearly have no idea what I’m talking about.
Which is not the case here, it’s however what a caring person would say and I like to come off as such. 
You never know what illusion I may need to create.
And in that moment, a solution comes to me…
Create an illusion and make it through the night.
I can already feel the pain sliding away…In my mind any way.
The Finale

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